Bad Experience on a Tram? Get drunk to celebrate.

Have you had a bad tram-based experience? Perhaps your tram was late, or didn't provide an appropriate level of seating. Was your tram conductor rude, inappropriately dressed, or farting copiously? Did your tram support the wrong football team? Perhaps (topically) the tram wasn't really the problem, and rather it was an inadequately educated scumbag whose children are liable to become the most appalling human beings the human race has ever seen through no fault of their own apart from being born?

Whatever your tram-based experiences, celebrate multi-cultural Britain with cheap French plonk! To whit, here’s a great bottle of proper Champagne, worthy of a special occasion, for half the usual £30 price tag. A special occasion could include the birth of a child (although after up to nine months of not drinking you might find lots of gin on the rocks more appropriate), a new job, or just your day being ruined by some c**t on a tram who has subsequently gained national fame. For being a c**t.

Seriously though, I’ve no idea if it’s worth thirty quid, I’ve never spent that much on sparkling wine, but it’s definitely worth fifteen. Having had various boring proseccos and cavas recently I was beginning to think perhaps sparkling wine wasn’t special at all. Faith restored.

Offer ends 6th December at Sainsbury’s.

P.S. apologies to anyone reading this outside the tram-based media storm bubble which will undoubtedly become an irrelevance in all history. Except tram-based history, where everything was irrelevant to begin with. 

Tor del Colle Riserva Montepulciano D.O.C. 2007

Now some might suggest that as time goes on, when people are doing the same thing for a while, they may become complacent. They might suggest that, as I review more and more wines, my reviews will become shorter, more superficial, with fewer attempts at rubbish humour which, let’s face it, are undoubtedly missed by you, the stupid reader. Well, they’d be right. As you can tell, this mulling over is less a review of wine as a method of creating additional column inches which, given I’m not paid at all, let alone by the word, may seem foolish. However, as the astute among you would see, if I’d just stuck with the half arsed review then the number of lines written would be disproportionate when compared with the picture of the wine, affixed left. So, onto the review... It’s red. It’s nice. It goes with blue cheese. It comes from Italy. I like it. I have bought more.

*This was a singularly unfair review of a genuinely interesting wine - sorry Italy. On the other hand I didn’t even bother to review the Sangiovese I had last week which was crap and cost more, so on balance you’ve come off well.

Michael Shafer 1997 Riesling Kabinett

This wine is OLD. In two years this wine will be able to legally get married. In four years this wine will have the vote. Oh sorry, thanks for correcting me, it's a wine and is therefore unable to enter in to legal matrimony and is not technically a citizen. Yeah, THANKS, I wasn't aware of that. I certainly wasn't using personification for comic effect.

Anyway, apart from you being a pedantic cretin, this wine is as yet the oldest I have reviewed. It's fair to say that because I'm an epic loser, I mostly bought this wine because it was old. And cheap for its age. At £7 a bottle 14 years seems quite reasonable - 50p a year.

And what has 14 years of ageing done for this sweet little nugget of wine? Well, it's super balanced and super drinkable and as golden as... gold. It does rather lack intensity though, and compared with the pinot gris I reviewed a while back is a little less interesting. A nice wine, sweet and fragrant and entirely pleasant to drink, and balanced nicely with fairly a simple fish. Certainly worth the 14 year wait. And after all just think: in 1997, as Michael Shafer was brewing this wine in Germany, next door in France Princess Diana was being killed in a car crash.

A Majestic Tasting Experience

Last Wednesday El Sollinidor (let’s just call him Joe Bloggs, or Joe) and myself headed over to one of Majestic Wines’ London stores, with the express purpose of having lots of free booze. The key aim, underpinning the free booze (or ‘wine tasting’) event, was to learn a little more about whatever different wines there might be to gobble. The format, rather than just throwing lots of different vineyards and vintages in your face until you can’t stand, focused on a small range of styles, giving a good chance for close comparisons. For the whites were three chardonnays each coming from a different part of the world, but apparently more critically from different latitudes and altitudes. For the reds a small table with two Lebanese wines from Chateau Musar, and a table of six reds either from Bordeaux or from the new world but Bordeaux style, all cabernet sauvignon or blends with this as the primary grape.

Chateau Musar – Two wines here, both with the same grape blend and from the same producer. One was their flagship and used the best grapes and was a year older, the other was their ‘second wine’ and a decent margin cheaper. Having tried the cheaper one, we were pretty impressed. Then we drank the other and deficiencies became clear. The latter was better balanced, with more power in its complexity; velvet richness on top of layers of tastes and just as the tannin arrived, an explosion sweetness from somewhere to offset it. Surprisingly it had almost no finish, where the cheaper wine’s finish was impressive. The difference was huge and like the fickle bastards we are we instantly downgraded the scores we had just given to the actually very good lesser wine of the two. Cheateau Musar seems to be a well known producer and you can pick up a bottle from Waitrose if the minimum six bottles needed for a Majestic wines order puts you off. Alternatively, buy six.

The Bordeaux(s) – The first wine of these we drank, the Calicanto 2009 Vina El Principal, was perhaps the most interesting of the evening for me, and yet one which scored poorly. This may be a style issue. The wine was literally (not literally, metaphorically literally) bursting with fruit, subsequently identified as blackcurrants. I’ve never tasted such strong and distinct fruit flavours in a wine, which is why it was interesting. However, it was crap because the intense fruit masked a lack of complexity or subtlety, and failed to mask too much acid and a poor finish. Some would love this wine though, and I can see why, but it’s not for me. Next up were two unmemorable new world wines, following by a Chateau Griviere, which was memorably unmemorable for a 2002 from an apparently well respected producer. It seemed to do almost nothing for either of us - this may be because it followed some younger more intense wines and the subtle flavours were lost... or it may have been past its best drink by date, as indicated by the man pouring it. Finally two immense Bordeaux(s) both of which I found very good, although the slight difference in quality not accounted in the 30% price difference. Neither, for me, was as good as the better Chateau Musar.

Unfortunately we had the three chardonnays first, and my memory of them is poor. However, we did identify some great vanilla aromas which come from oak ageing and identified that we can’t agree on white wine yet. The Sauternes, which we had later along with very salty cheese, was perhaps the second most interesting wine of the evening. Joe, who's happy to say he doesn’t know his whites well and doesn’t like sweet wines, immediately bought a bottle. Impression made.

A Late Summary of some Late Wines

Il Barone Pinot Grigio 2010 - There are two possible options here

1 - It was underwhelmed by this Pinot Grigio, because I was already half cut when I started drinking it, and therefore its subtleties were lost upon me .
2 - This Pinot Grigio was underwhelming.

It ticks all sorts of boxes – crisp, clear, clean, colourful, other words beginning with C. However, it only ticked the boxes, and didn’t do any more. Compared with aforereviewed apply PG it didn’t quite stand up. That’s not to say it was bad, it was pleasant and well balanced and before my serious explorations – and this blog – began I’d have rated it above medium. But here we are.

Minervois – Intriguing, this. I was really looking forward to trying it. An interesting name, bottle, and coming from a system whereby the wine distributor funds the wine grower in a sort of mini cooperate (see Naked Wines for more details). I think this is the taste of a good wine drunk too young. The aroma was limited but what was there was intriguing, it was juicy on the palate with interesting fruit but limited complexity. At first it seemed ruined by a little too much acidity, perhaps suggesting a rest in a cupboard would have helped, I’m too much of a nubcake to be certain. After eating an orange, however, the acidity went away and I found it to be much more pleasant. I think this would have matured into a subtle and complex medium bodied fruity beauty. I’ll never be sure, but I’m giving it a thumbs up anyway. Someone else can prove me wrong, I’m not feeling patient this week.

The Society's White Burgundy, Macon-Villages - France, chardonnay

The Society’s White Burgundy comes from France’s AOC of Macon Villages. I’ve had Macon Villages somewhere before, possibly from Waitrose, and remember it being pretty good. In light of previous claims that chardonnay isn’t ‘really my thing’ is the contradictory statement that Chablis definitely is. And is made entirely of chardonnay. And so is this. The problem with The Society’s White Burgundy is it presents the danger of wine which could happily be mistaken for a Chablis at a mere £7.50 a bottle. Having polished off a whole bottle of red the day before I decided I would only have a glass, maybe two at most, of this delectable, fresh, crisp, balanced beauty. In the end I only had four, which constituted two thirds of a bottle. The rest will be going in my face later today. This is essentially the lower grade of the Wine Society’s ‘own label’ stuff, they also do The Society’s Exhibition bottles. If those represent anything like wine this good for its price, I imagine I’ll be drinking a lot of both. This also leaves me quite excited at the prospect of the Society’s Rioja, which is sitting under my bed making little ‘drink me drink me’ noises. A bit like a wine troll. Except in this case I’m the goat, and I’m drinking the troll. Or will be in about six hours. NOM.

Biferno Rosso Riserva, 2007

My first wine from The Wine Society, this is an Italian reserva from 2007 with montepulciano as the dominant grape. Wonderfully smooth and a fine accompaniment to a VAST plate of paste bake, it is generally pleasing warm and yummy. Don't let the bottle and description fool you however, it's less a big powerful red and more of a subtle little beauty, with mellow undercurrents and merlotesque reminiscences of fruit. It couldn't be much more drinkable - I've just had the lot. OM NOM NOM.

An Idiot's Guide to Buying Wine

I am an idiot.
Here is my guide to buying wine.

1. Spend at least £5
Why? Maths. Maths says that tax is horrible. Every time you buy a bottle of wine, before you have actually purchased any of the wine, you need to buy the bottle. The bottle, according to the government, should cost you around £2.50 in Value Added Tax, excise duty and having fun tax. That means that if you buy a £3.50 bottle of wine, you are actually only buying a £1 bottle of wine. If you buy a £5 bottle of wine, maths says it is 150% better than the £3.50 bottle of wine, even though it only costs around 45% more to buy. Even an idiot (me) can see that cheap wine is going to be horrible. Above £5-£10 you aren't going to notice the difference so much, so if you don't know your way around that price range you may not benefit from spending more. So don't.


2. Read the label. Both labels
Why? Because some wines are obviously shit just from looking at them. Look at the wines in your local chain pub - they look shit - and you don't need to drink them to know they taste awful. If a winemaker hasn't bothered to make a decent, refined looking label, they've probably put no effort into the wine. This applies to almost everything in life. The phrase 'don't judge a book by its cover' is absolute guff in the case of a) books b) wines c) almost anything you can buy in a competitive marketplace. The label on the back will probably tell you a lot more than the label on the front, and is always worth reading. It might be in French, in which case you need to go away, learn French, come back, read the label, and then decide. It might equally be in Spanish, in which case they're idiots and should've put in English as well.


3. Buy a grape you like, or want to try
Why? Because everyone's palate is different. However, drinking the grape you want to drink may not be so easy. Some wines are clearly labelled 'merlot' or 'sauvignon blanc' but many more are not e.g. Rioja is not a grape, it's a place, and you can get very good wines made from tempranillo (the main grape in red Rioja) which will be called something else. European wines are much less reliable at giving you grape types, so you may need to invest some research to know what you're buying or have bought. I'm sure there's an iPhone app for it, there's one for bloody everything else. Try new types as well, just because you once liked one wine, there is with absolute certainty a better one waiting to be found, and you'll never find it if you stick to that reliable Cabernet Sauvignon every time.

4. Think about the vintage
Most wine, especially red wine, is drunk too young, and therefore doesn't taste as good as it would if it had been left for a while. Decent reds probably want to be two years old, except for Beaujolais which is always drunk young. Don't buy a Rioja from the last couple of years and assume it to be any good, it probably needs to age. Whites can be drunk younger so there's less to worry about here, but there are still interesting differences between the young and old. As a massive generalisation, older wines are more complex and more subtle, but only good wines will age well. Usually if they're selling it to you and it's more than a couple of years old and under £20, it's ready to drink but may well also keep. Some wines will tell you when you can drink them - next time you are in a Marks & Spencers read a few of their bottles.

5. Buy more wine
This wouldn't be an idiot's guide to buying wine if it didn't recommend buying more wine. The more different wine you buy, the more experience you have, the better your own instinct for picking the right one will be. Some people even recommend deliberately buying an appalling wine now and again just so you can really appreciate the good ones. Personally I prefer just to vomit heavily and lick that for an hour or two and then drink a nice wine. You can really appreciate the complexity of a good Shiraz after a plateful of sicked up curry.

You were (possibly) not an idiot before. Welcome to the club.

An Epic of Pretentious Tasting

Yesterday we got super pretentious. We swirled our glasses, closed our eyes, discussed flavours, finishes, noses, the socio-economic breakdown and replenishment of the former soviet union in eastern Europe, the effects of tannin and acidity on balance, the depth of colour, the differences of old and young... etc. We also looked up scorecards for some of the tastings, which genuinely helped us narrow down some of our thoughts on different aspects of the wine - something I'll be doing again. Pretentious? Tick.

Learning is fun when it involves getting drunk.



Albacore Coonawarra McLaren Vale Shiraz 2009 (Australia)
Definitely a belter, the intensity of the nose was spectacular. It wasn't complex and only a couple of flavours came through, but on their own they were enough to make it excellent. Smooth and strong, I'll be interested to drink the second bottle in a few years and see if the balance changes, as it says it's drinkable over the next ten. It may be that by then there is more complexity, but will there be a loss of intensity and will it matter?

Gran Villa Reserva 2002 (Spain, Navarra, Merlot)
The complexity gained with its age was undoubtable, the aroma was a little less intense than the Shiraz but overall about equal, being more complex and interesting but with less immediate impact. Extremely balanced, 'chewy'ness came through on the palette and in the finish, but there was sweetness and richness hitting at different times. This merlot felt a lot like a Rioja and had undergone similar oak ageing, and was produced in the neighboring region. Anyone who says merlot is boring needs to give this a shot, it says a lot about what different ages and ageing processes can have on the grapes - nothing like your classic merlot here. On paper i.e. on our scorecards this came out on top of the Shiraz, but in fact we both preferred the latter, as although some individual characteristics were not as strong (perhaps as it was much younger) the power and intensity were such that the rest became less relevant.

Cave de Turckheim Pinot Gris Sables at Galets 2008 (France, Alsace)
The fact that this comes from the same grape as all those Pinot Grigios I've had in the past is extremely surprising. My wine tasting partner El Sollinidor did notice the smell was reminiscent, but the crisp dry elements were nowhere to be found. Of all the wines drunk that eve, this was the most interesting. Very complex, with an outstanding nose and finish, it was rich and aromatic. Amber is my closest thought, but this is probably prompted in part by the colour. Which was amber. By the end of the glass it was beginning to feel too sweet for our palates, but that hardly ruined the experience and while we both agreed this was not naturally our type of wine, it was interesting to taste and try. El Sollinidor also nearly choked himself on the second sip, trying to get 'more air' into his mouth by sucking in little gulps of air with the wine in his mouth, a ridiculous sight which when described here isn't at all funny. Needless to say, it was actually the funniest thing to have occurred in the entire of history. HA HA HA. This'un I think is fairly typical of Alsace, and recommended as being at drinking age. It was certainly complex for a white and the oak ageing definitely shined through (unless it wasn't oak aged).


Also drunk was further Sail Chardonnay for comparison purposes with the Pinot Gris, and the rest of the Three Block from yesterday. The Three Block fell well short of the Albacore on the scorecards, which was borne out in the price (though I didn't tell El Sollinidor the price difference until afterwards, that part at least was blind!). One thing we noticed was that though the Three Block was interesting and tasted good, the nose smelt a little of chemicals and lacked complexity, and the finish was very short and with too much tannin. That's not to say it's a bad wine - it beats many I've drunk of the same type, and the previous review says much - but rather sheds light on the importance of comparison, and when put up against a bottle much better it's easier to see where it could be better; I would not have noticed the nature of the differences without going to the efforts we did.

Three Blocks Shiraz by Nico Vermeulen 2009

More and more I'm realising that young Shiraz can be great. Is two years young? Can great red wine be designed to be drunk young, without being Beaujolais? Perhaps this here is one of those medium wines, that's still good now because it's at its prime, and doesn't need to get any better, or wouldn't. Shiraz seems to be extremely popular and I've drunk a lot of different versions; those which are younger are lighter and fruitier but so far by no means less good. However, I've not had a seriously good aged Shiraz in a while to compare. Opinions on ageing wines seem to vary a lot, but mostly agree that on average more wines are drunk too young than too old. This is probably because most people don't have a cellar, any patience, don't care, can't remember when they bought them, got drunk and had the bottle anyway, left it somewhere silly and their [insert applicable thief] had it, thought it was a good idea to make sangria out of it even though it cost £15 in the first place, sold it to someone in exchange for a rubbish pair of binoculars, made it into gravy, or had no idea it was too young anyway. Almost certainly universally the latter. I've also decided to make my blog much more exciting by varying the colours, as you will have noticed by the exciting dull grey I have used for this post. Expect more of the same madness in future.